Drunkin IMing

Ugh.
So last night I got home from hanging out with Lindsey and Liz at their spectacular condo they rented on the river. These are the girls I'm doing the bridge pedal with on Sunday. I had a wonderfully fabulous drunken night, but still had enough coordination to ride my bike home.

Then, there I am, lying in bed, missing J. As tempted as I am, I restrain myself from making a drunken phone call to him.

But then, I decide its necessary to just SEE if he happens to be on Skype at 2am. He is! And I literally stumble on the keyboard, and seriously, accidentally call him by double clicking his name. With my computer on mute, I didn't realized that I was calling him and by the moment I did he had picked up and I just immediately disconnected the call. Then I realized I'm a not a middle-schooler so I IMed him and he replyed.

It was weird. Having a typed conversation with so many charged emotions and him being a slow typer and me being drunk. Ugh. It was mostly polite, catch-up convo until towards the end when we were saying good-bye and he asked when were we going to talk about our St. Helens camping weekend and I just don't know how I feel about it!

I think us not talking is absolutely nessessary and I don't know how to plan that weekend without things getting confusing, emotionally draining, and being high tension. But I really want to climb and camp that weekend, and part of me (the part that wants to be a complete selfish bitch) wants to tell him and his friends they can't go. I have the permits. I paid for them. I'm going with my peps and you're no longer invited. The other part of me (the one that is still completly in love with J) wants to just plan the weekend like we would and try to be a normal person about it.

In the mean-time....I have a pseudo-date to got see M.C. Esher at the Portland Art Museum! So I'm going to get my hung-over ass out of bed and start my day and forget about J for as long as I can.