Big News!

Well...

Since I told Chris right away, I have a feeling all of you (and possibly half of Portland) already knows the big news. But just for the fun of it, I'll pretend like you all had no idea and I'm telling you for the first time that...

...Gabe and I are pregnant!

We decided towards the end of last year that we wanted to start trying, so I went off the pill and asked my doctor what to do. She recommended the usual, stop drinking (which I did for two months before we got pregnant) start eating right (I cut out coffee and dessert about three months before) and not to be worried if it took us at least a year to get pregnant. The latter being due in part to my history of medical issues, and the fact that I've been on the pill since age 12. So, we figured when it was supposed to happen it would, and a month later I peed on the stick and saw a plus sign.

That was one month ago, and needless to say it's been a very crazy month. The day I took the test we were signing out of our old lease and signing a new lease on a two bedroom place in Issaquah (about 30 min. from the old place and East of Seattle nestled in the mountains and very family friendly). After having our pup Milo there for about a week, we realized it wasn't going to work as the long hours kept us away from him and he was doing damage to the new place, so we gave him to Courtney and Tudor who have become excellent adoptive parents. When I was cleaning out our old place (which we were forced to move out of because a sewage pipe burst two floors up and ruined our stuff in poop water...I think you all remember Gabe's feelings about germs) I slipped and hit my head, knocking myself out and bruising my patellas (ok med. students, you'll have to correct my spelling but I'm talking about the things under my knee caps). Gabe was worried of course and we went to the OB/GYN who assured us I was ok and just needed to stay off my feet a couple days.

Additionally, I have felt SICK AS A DOG! I got morning sickness I'm pretty sure the second the sperm met the egg (wow, that was likely un-necessary detail) and I've been living on Slim-Fast, Saltines, and Ginger Ale. Needless to say, I've lost about 5 pounds which is quite comical to me, especially because every woman I meet assures me I'll gain it back times ten. Other not-so-lovely changes include the pain in my breasts. I feel as if Mike Tyson (very 90's reference, but I don't know any new millenium boxers) have used my tatas as punching bags for the last two weeks straight. The spontaneous crying is likely Gabe's least favorite side-effect; that or the fact that if he even looks at me lovingly I promptly state that there will be nothing resembling the act that got me to my emotional, morning-sick, sore-boobed self until I stop barfing every time I see a food commercial.

Well...that's probably way TMI for now...but hey, now that I'm pregnant I feel like I have an open-door to overshare with those I love most- which is you!

I miss you all mucho and can't wait to see you. I vote for a reunion of sorts before I'm the size of a baby rhino.

THANK YOU!!!

Even though my relationship came crashing down less than a week ago, I feel like I have so much to be thankful for. First and foremost YOU! I really appreciate all the calls, posts, text messages, etc. It is nice to feel the love! You are all so wonderful. I am also thankful to my mother for always saying the right thing, my friends here in Omaha for not leaving me alone for more than a couple of minutes... literally, med school for being the biggest distraction EVER, my hairdresser for chopping off my hair, Valentine's day for going by without any tears or sad feelings, and so much more. I really do feel almost back to 100% which is really hard for me to believe. It's odd. I am still working out all the details of the breakup, getting stuff back, changing plane tickets, etc., but it all seems to be working out alright. Anyway, I just wanted to send a note to let you know that I'm doing ok and say "thank you" for being the best friends a girl could ask for. I love you all dearly.

the break up

Hey Ladies,

I just wanted to let you all know that Mitchell broke up with me on Wednesday night. I'm of course devastated, but I'll get through. It was not my choice, he made the decision, and we both now have to live with the consequences.

I don't really want to recount the story, because I feel like I have a million times, but the gist is that he has been unhappy and not telling me for a long time. Both he and I didn't realize that we had some big underlying problems until we committed to getting married next summer and booked a place to do so (August 6th in the Peninsula Rose Garden). Yep, we were going to get married! He then realized that he has never been able to fully commit to me and our relationship (on many different levels and occasions) and has just been doing things to make me happy for a long time without doing them from his heart. So he broke up with me. He still loves me deeply (I know because he told me), I still love him (I know because I feel it). But here we are. Broken up because of his inability to give his all to our relationship. The distance between us made this decision necessary I think. He also couldn't see us being in the same place for many years because he wouldn't sacrifice and he wouldn't let me do so either. So I am putting the pieces of my life back together, changing lots of plans that Mitchell and I had made, sleeping alone on Valentine's day, and trying to stay distracted by other people/things.

Ok, believe it or not, that's the short version of the story.

I really miss you guys. I wish I could be in Portland/Seattle/Kansas City right now with you all. Oh, I am going to see Nora in KC next weekend!

I'm off to yoga class today, with lots of movies and cookie baking too! I hope I can stay distracted. :)

Lots and lots of love,
Em