Hey Ladies,
I just wanted to let you all know that Mitchell broke up with me on Wednesday night. I'm of course devastated, but I'll get through. It was not my choice, he made the decision, and we both now have to live with the consequences.
I don't really want to recount the story, because I feel like I have a million times, but the gist is that he has been unhappy and not telling me for a long time. Both he and I didn't realize that we had some big underlying problems until we committed to getting married next summer and booked a place to do so (August 6th in the Peninsula Rose Garden). Yep, we were going to get married! He then realized that he has never been able to fully commit to me and our relationship (on many different levels and occasions) and has just been doing things to make me happy for a long time without doing them from his heart. So he broke up with me. He still loves me deeply (I know because he told me), I still love him (I know because I feel it). But here we are. Broken up because of his inability to give his all to our relationship. The distance between us made this decision necessary I think. He also couldn't see us being in the same place for many years because he wouldn't sacrifice and he wouldn't let me do so either. So I am putting the pieces of my life back together, changing lots of plans that Mitchell and I had made, sleeping alone on Valentine's day, and trying to stay distracted by other people/things.
Ok, believe it or not, that's the short version of the story.
I really miss you guys. I wish I could be in Portland/Seattle/Kansas City right now with you all. Oh, I am going to see Nora in KC next weekend!
I'm off to yoga class today, with lots of movies and cookie baking too! I hope I can stay distracted. :)
Lots and lots of love,
Em
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Im really sorry to hear that Emily. I'm also sorry that you don't have any of your portland friends to cry with! I looked at flights from PDX to OMA for this weekend... cheapest was $568... It seems like you are really focused on staying distracted which is good. We need to schedule our phone date. I got your email but then got overwhelmed with school projects this last week.
ReplyDeleteYou are a strong WOMYN and will move on and get though this. You are in medical school! You've got plenty to keep you busy. Oh and FUCK valentines day!
Miss you!
Oh Em, I'm so sorry to read this. I wish I had looked on here sooner, and I would have called you sooner. I wish we were there with you! I hope you are doing alright and, same with what Chris said, FUCK Vday but you are a strong and amazing person, I know you will find happiness. Please please call me (or any of us) if you need to. We are all here for you, and there with you in spirit. Love you tons and tons.
ReplyDeleteEm,
ReplyDeleteYou are a strong amazing intelligent beautiful woman and you are so above this and him. It may be hard to feel that way now but I know it's the truth. Much love to you!