Holy Moly, look at all i've been missing!

So I might have just changed the group's photo to one of myself. Since it is semi-late and I have quite a bit I want to do before bed, I am not going to try and teach myself the ins-and-outs of blogger. Or how to get it set up on my gmail...Kimmie? how do i make my own account?

HI GIRLS.

it was so great to read through all of your blogs. Chris set this up right as I was leaving for California/the Midwest in August so I honestly forgot about it. Now I am sooooo excited for it.

I can seriously hear each of your voices as I read the posts...it definitely brings me closer to all of you.

right now, as most of you know, things are super hectic. actually, as i just started writing about all of it, i got all stressed, so i am going to focus on fun things.

kimmie and i had a wonderful picnic today off the banks of some cutesie beach in Lake O which my friends from out of town discovered. Apparently most of Lake O knows about it and i am just silly.

today i went and played SOCCER on a rec team. The son of one of my coworkers is in a league and i promised i would play for them. the last two weekends i didnt make it out (i realized shin guards were mandatory....hahaha). thanks to kimmie, who lent me hers today, i finally made it out. in sneakers. which everyone was super impressed by? is it harder to play in sneaks? probably less traction. i was so nervous because i have not played soccer since soph. year of h.s. when i got a concussion and brought my soccer career to an end. i mean, i was scared i'd have no ball handling skills. and i was worried about my bad ankle from a few years ago. and the fact that i dont have regular insurance if something were to happen. in the end, all was well. i played a ton, got my fair share of ball-time and it was fun. my butt feels great. going to do it again next weekend. yay!

yesterday i coached my 8th grade and 7th grade teams at a vball tourney all day. it was cute. they are cute. i get along with them well. i will normally be coaching just the 7th grade team and i hand-picked girls who i wanted to establish closer relationships with...call it mentorship. the opportunities to connect with these girls as their coach both in school and on the court is awesome. i basically get to keep them accountable for their school work, hang out with them, pull them out of class to have informal mentoring sessions when needed and encourage them on the court. it's wonderful. last week after one of the practices there were rumors of a fight that was going to break out between one of the vball girls and an arch nemesis. long story short...one of the asst. coaches of the other team (a parent) and i had to run across the park which is adjacent to our school in order to chase a group of kids down who were running from us. i hopped a fence, tore my shorts and finally caught up to a bunch. i gave them hell. then i ran around to the front of the school where the asst. coach was attempting to get the two girls to talk. they had migrated into a gravel alleyway. i ran over, was in between them. then, PUNCHES AND NAILS broke out. awesome. i was right in the middle. we restrained one of the girls. it was just so much fun, let me tell ya, didnt leave work till 7:45 (practice was over at 6:30). STREET CRED.

what else? oh. san diego. so for those of you that don't know....when i was in israel i met a boy from san diego. we were friends during the trip, i found him to be very intriguing and interesting, i began developing some feelings...and the last night we drunkenly hooked up. ok...fast forward 2.5 months. since the day we got off the plane, i have been in an exclusive texting relationship with this character. some of you know this already...and the extent to which it is absurd. we text each other every day. in the past 2.5 months there have maybe been less than 10 days where we havent texted (and that was in july). we also began emailing occasionally. i have not heard his voice since july 13th. yet over the past two months we have gotten to know each other well, aka enough to keep whatever it is we have going, going.

this "relationship" has been roller coastery due to the following reasons:

a. our means of communication...texting/emailing leaves a lot of room for misinterpretation

b. the fact that both of us are sassy (he is dry and witty, which can come off douchy)

c. me finally getting fed up with all of the above.

that all being said, i have decided to go visit him in san diego. (i am sparing all the unnecessary paragraphs of other details). this has been a contentious topic between my mother and i, plus i have been going back and forth and back and forth on it. why isn't HE coming to portland? why am I the one to always put myself out there? etc. etc. my mom obviously is throwing the dave situation in my face. and telling me it's against "moral principles" and such. i am doing a good job holding my ground. i need to make my own decisions and learn from my own actions, not listen to some sort of obscure "principle." when she really didnt know what to do anymore she was like, "fine i'll see what your father thinks." while i didnt listen to the conversation, she came back defeated. dad thinks i'm a smart girl who can make her own decisions. smart or not, i have nothing to lose. jonathan is an incredibly smart, witty and interesting person. he has a rocky history, of which i know a bit. he admitted to me in israel that he hasn't been the same person ever since his cousin, who was like a brother, died last fall. he is more reserved and serious because of this. he puts up a bit of a front to protect himself. but i am attracted to his personality. i see in my and his relationship something very similar to the relationship i have with pat moran, who just understands and completes my thoughts.

all this being said, "the resistance" kicked in. i told jonathan i was apprehensive about coming via FB chat a few hours ago. it just felt that me flying there was like presenting him with a silver platter. when his responses didn't make me feel better, i didnt know what to say. i was upset. i asked him to please let me know when it was that i could stop making a case for him in my mind. that was vague and passive-aggressive on my part. it's been over two months of buildup, though. i dont know how to handle it. because he is more emotionally reserved, i need to make sure he ihe's made efforts. quite a few of them. and i know it's not his style to be all excitey. despite this i got all angsty and passive-aggresive...i called him self-entitled. not so cool- he felt my passive aggressiveness. he told me he wasnt the freak-out type. that said, he then told me that "everyday that i hear from you i smile at having such a unique like-minded friend." he asked what i wanted. i finally i told him i needed to know he was excited about me coming. and he did in a cute way. and with that i was consoled. and i felt like a girl. and i dont like feeling like a girl. but oh well. tomorrow i check with bosses to make sure i can leave and then i buy the ticket.

i am ridiculous. and optimistic. and if nothing else, i just want to spend time with this person who i have felt understands me and i him, in person.

some of you have listened to me go off and off and off about the jonathan sitch and for that i am sorry, but also thank you. i feel 12, but at the same time, feel good. there is something drawing me there, whether it is a friendship or more.

so my friends, that is a NOVEL. i am sorry. time to sleep. i love you all so much.